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Posts tagged “Duncan Armstrong

Our dad’s got Robbie McEwen’s bum cream!

This blogging lark is not as easy as I thought it would be!  My biggest stumbling block is time.  When I want to sit down and do it I don’t have the time due to work, or running around with the boys to various things (at the moment we are in Dalby for a swimming carnival).  But when I do have the time I am either too tired from work and running around with the boys or, as has been the case in the past week following yet another acid treatment to get rid of a plantar wart from the ball of my left foot, feeling sore and nauseous.  But now we are in Dalby and the boys are fighting and squabbling and if I don’t ignore them and write up what I planned to write a couple of weeks back I might end up getting very cranky and that will be it for me doing the blog.  So, here goes…

On Sunday 6 November 2011 the second Brisbane BMW “Ride For Life Challenge” was held.  The event had first been announced in mid-July and I had indicated to the Minister for War of my intention to ride as I had done the previous year.  As the months drew closer and registration opened I became aware the Minister was set for a Council of War with other Ministers (who also happen to be members of the Wide Bay Swimming Association management committee) and that the scheduled date was going to clash.  With the meetings being held a couple of hours north in Queensland’s own Middle Earth and commencing at 9am, so necessitating an early departure from home, there was no likelihood of the Minister for War assuming her other portfolio (Minister for Child Safety) so I approached my last chance.  Her mother, the wicked witch of Bribie Island, was initially receptive to my plea but within 12 hours had decided to forego the pleasure of hosting a sleepover of two of her grandchildren.  I decided to send a tweet to Robbie seeking his assistance.  He failed to change her mind and I was left with no choice.  No ride for me and no chance of Australian cycling legend Robbie McEwen seeing if he could beat me in a sprint to the finish (we would have to settle it once and for all in a sprint to the coffee stall).  The upside however was that I would get to meet Robbie as would my boys and that hopefully they will, one day, be inspired to ride as well as him.  So, estimating the riders would be back soon after 8.15am we set off from home for Brisbane BMW in Fortitude Valley.

We arrived just before eight and waited.  And waited.  And waited a bit more.  Whilst waiting we met and were entertained by Australian swimming legend Duncan Armstrong (this country is choc-full of legends, both sporting and general).  He was there as the MC for the event and spent a bit of time warming up the gathering crowd ready for the arrival of the riders.  He is one of those people who has “the gift of the gab” and had the boys in fist of laughter with his spruiking of Robbie McEwen’s autobiography, One Way Road, and other products which were for sale.  In particular, his continual recommendation for people to buy some of “Robbie McEwen’s bum cream” would have the boys sniggering and running around talking loudly about bum cream.

One Way Road (signed) and tubs of Robbie's bum cream

So, with me recently having run out of a decent chamois cream and Keywin being hard to find outside of New Zealand, I parted with some cash and bought a couple of tubs.  It didn’t take long for the boys to find out and that set off round two as they ran around and mentioned loudly to anyone in earshot that their dad had some of Robbie McEwen’s bum cream.  A passerby oblivious to the significance of the event, Robbie McEwen or me would surely have left with the impression Robbie and I were more intimately acquainted than either of us would choose to be or that I was a proctologist (to an Australian cycling legend).

Apart from some very lovely BMW cars on show at the venue one of the sponsors (I think) brought along two of the toys from his own car showroom.  They made such an impression on Mr Ten that he has decided he would like dad to salary sacrifice one, a yellow one, for the next family car (as opposed to another Honda).  The fact he is also taller than the roofline of the car also pleased him.

Please buy one of these dad...puhleeease?

Just before 9am the first riders drifted in.  Robbie was not amongst them, having done the decent thing and joined some of the slower groups on the ride back, but didn’t take long and he soon arrived.  It was time for me to spring into action.  I made a dash for the coffee queue and beat Robbie to a long black.  Then I turned around I saw one of his assistants had already secured one for him and he was seated and signing books already.  I had been beaten again!  Trying not to be too disheartened by his subterfuge in sending in a proxy to humiliate me, I took solace in the coffee and my astute purchase of bum cream.  I then joined the queue for the book signing.

With me I had three books; one for me, one for my brother and another belonging to a workmate (who couldn’t be there as the boss had sent him to St Kitts and Nevis in the Caribbean for a week).  As the queue advanced I could see others were getting cycling jerseys signed as well as copies of his book.  I suddenly realised I should have brought along the Silence Lotto Australian Champion’s jersey I had sitting in my wardrobe at home as it was the same that would have been worn by Robbie back in 2005.  The queue quickly advanced and we were soon at the table where Robbie “Movember” McEwen sat surrounded by books, “One Way Road” cycling jerseys and tubs of bum cream.  I introduced myself and the boys to Robbie and asked if he would sign the three books and if we could get a picture with him and he readily accommodated the requests (a lady in the queue behind took the pics for us).

Mr Six, Me, Mr Ten & Robbie

I jokingly mentioned I was disappointed he was unable to respond to my Twitter plea for his help in convincing my mother-in-law to change her mind.  Some have commented he had every reason to look bemused but I could see he was more relieved I was prevented from beating him back to the finish line.

After this it was time for the sponsors’ presentations and a talk from Robbie.  The development and backing of the event by Brisbane BMW and Westside BMW etc cannot be applauded enough, generating necessary funds for Variety Queensland, Guide Dogs Queensland and the NexGen Foundation and giving weekend warriors, corporate riders and some local racers the chance to ride alongside seasoned professionals like Robbie and the next generation being groomed by the Team Jayco-2XU Pro Cycling.  Robbie spoke of his 2011 season and his plans for 2012 with his new team and Australia’s first Pro-Tour team on the UCI World Tour, Green Edge Cycling.  (What is it with professional Aussie cyclists?  Give them a microphone and they start singing – see picture below of Cadel Evans from 2010 for proof).

Robbie serenades Duncan Armstrong

Cadel the crooner

Thanks to Lance Armstrong and Team Radio Shack Robbie secured a ride for 2011 after Pegasus Racing were denied a licence by the UCI.  But his omission from the squad sent to the Tour de France robbed his legion of fans around the world from seeing him go up against Mark Cavendish in what has turned out to be his last full season.  Robbie has announced plans to compete a half season in 2012, finishing after the Tour of California in May then taking a mentoring role with Green Edge guiding the likes of Leigh Howard to sprint wins and (hopefully) the coveted green jersey in Paris.  With his wealth of experience and that of Stuey O’Grady in the team, Green Edge will be a force to be reckoned with in seasons to come.

And that was it.  We left Robbie to the rest of his adoring fans and headed home.


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